Follow by Email

About Me

My photo
The stories here change from time to time. Please return to visit often!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Double Describing

Yesterday's tip from the web was on writing description. One trick I'm trying to work with now is a tidy twosome -- describing both the newcomer and the speaker at the same time.

From the beginning of my work-in-progress MAGGIE RISING, here is Maggie's description of the young woman she is just meeting:

She was somewhat shorter than my five-feet-eight, but most women are, and she was fuller than I am, especially through her surgically augmented chest. Her blonde wasn’t natural, either, though her roots weren’t as dark as my near-black curls. Even her coloring, like mine, was more rubies-and-ivory than peaches-and-cream. The rest was easy: sorority chick; more money than brains – all of it Daddy’s; party girl looking for a thrill and probably trying to figure out whether Jason (or Fred or that guy from the fraternity mixer last night) was worth giving it all up for, although from the looks of her, she probably had nothing to give that hadn’t been given and given and given again.

My goal is to show you not only the "gullible little bottle-blonde" (Maggie's words from the next page), but Maggie herself and not only her appearance, but her ideas and attitudes as well.

So how do you think I did? Write and share ideas.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please share your thoughts, ideas, opinions, complaints or compliments. We're all reading and writing together.