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Thursday, June 9, 2011

Karen Describes "Granny"

This week I've been focusing on description, so for my excerpt from a work in progress, I want to share some describing.

Here is how forty-something Karen describes the scene when she is summoned to the hospital to see her husband's grandmother. This paragraph comes from Chapter 1 of my manuscript, A CHRISTMAS RECIPE.

"I slid into the room at a half-run to find it already filling up with family members. Our daughter, Melissa, and her new husband, Jason, were seated next to Tom beside Granny’s bed, along with Ruby, Granny’s live-in attendant. Emily was there too, standing near them. Tom must have picked her up at the high school. He looked up as I came in. 'Karen’s here,' he said to Granny, and I got my first look at Adelaide as she turned her face toward me. Her skin was pallid gray, her eyes rheumy, her flesh wasted. She looked worse than I had ever seen in a living person. She and Ruby had joined us for dinner just last Sunday, and I marveled that so much had changed in a few short days, but her eyes still crinkled with warmth as she said, 'Well hello, Sweetheart. Good to see you.'"

Do you have a current work in progress? Share a one-sentence line of description together with one more sentence to set the scene.

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